Moving for Personal Revelation, by Andrea Homer-Macdonald

Movement, text, discussion...these were always part of rehearsal. So why was a simple assignment to bring in sacred text leaving me stuck? In fact, more than stuck. Filled with anxiety. Thinking about copping out of rehearsal. Terrified to explain what was going on inside.

The subject of the text was to be based upon movement I had created in response to my writing, “I stand on what I’ve been taught.....and I stand away from it.” From this choreography, Marin selected one gesture, a backward glance, as its essential gesture. Through our discussions, the meaning of this gesture began to focus on questioning, even doubting. Doubt was a hidden fuse running back to my religious foundations.

One catalyst to the formation of Mormonism was a scripture from the New Testament, which states that anyone who lacks wisdom should “ask of God”. Accordingly, Mormons believe that individuals are entitled to personal spiritual revelation. It is the next verse, which counsels that one should ask with “nothing wavering”, that causes me the trouble. How can one lack wisdom without any degree of doubt or wavering? But if one has doubts, which I did, was James saying they were not prepared or faithful enough to receive answers? This conflict had been ebbing and flowing in my life for several years and it always seemed unresolvable. When questions bubbled up, I would gently, but persistently slip them back underground. Now my own movement was exposing this desire for spiritual answers to spiritual questions. In the process, all kinds of internal pyrotechnics were going off.

Did my canon of scripture defend and validate questioning? I could think of lists of scriptures that admonish one to build upon a firm foundation, to doubt not or to be steadfast and immovable, but not a single one that encouraged wavering or uncertainty. My movement seemed to have no scriptural basis, a dangerous realization for a religious person. This perception rocked me deeply.

While the supportive structure of rehearsal released some of my anxiety, ultimately, it was the movement itself that defused this conflict. I started to remember the whole phrase my gesture was drawn from...its groundedness, its confined suspension, how it moved easily away from conflict, its final look back.

Its look back. That look back was to something significant, supportive, meaningful. A look back to gain a new eye, from a new level, a new place. An attempt to find a fresh view, to create a new relationship with that which has given me peace and been my foundation. The step away and glance back was possibly spurred by doubt and conflict, but it was equally a step of faith. Perhaps, my movement suggested that both are allowed in my spiritual process.

Dancing this problem is releasing an old, stuck way of thinking and slowly getting me moving again. Beginnings of answers are growing out of the movement that grew out of my own questions. I can't help but appreciate the irony and mystery of that unfolding cycle. Simply put, it is personal revelation.

Foundations Update #2, originally written in January...

1. Transparency 2. Choreographic intention refined

1. Occasionally, when rehearsal space can't be found in Manhattan, the five of us trek out to Brooklyn Arts Exchange, which is a lovely friendly, community-centered space with bright studios and clean floors. Sara, at the front desk, is so so so helpful, and tonight, she let us all meet in the multi-purpose room at 8pm, 30 minutes before our studio slot, to fold fundraising letters and talk...

I felt I needed to get permission from these dancers to "define" them in our printed fundraising material as the token representatives of each of their religious or spiritual traditions. Do they feel they represent these broad traditions? I needed to be totally transparent about my intentions, especially as fundraising materials begin to get distributed, and email marketing campaigns begin.

2. Through this project, I am wholly committed in validating the role of religious involvement and/or spiritual practice in one's mortal journey. I am curious about religious worldviews generally, and in discovering the parallels or intersections within these belief systems. Yet, the deeper we wade into issues of religious/spiritual involvement as a cast, the more committed I am becoming in validating the individual experiences of these dancers. In spite of representing Judaism, Mormonism, Buddhism, etc, and in spite of my total commitment to validating these major religious and spiritual traditions, I'm realizing that dance comes alive through the individual experiences of the dancers.

If I seek to create a shared human-to-human experience through dance, in which audience members come to understand themselves in and through the embodied experience of the performers they are witnessing on stage, as they live the tenets, practice the rituals, as they question, as they believe. So, now the task becomes more personal, the stakes are raised, the need for vulnerability and transparency becomes more pressing and more necessary, from everyone involved.

Foundations update #1

Thurs, Dec. 11:  Last night was our final rehearsal at Brooklyn Arts Exchange before our first works-in-progress showing of Foundations at Dance New Amsterdam on Saturday.  Since we began rehearsal 6 or 8 weeks ago, this process has been unique, and last night's rehearsal reminded me how excited I feel about the journey this process will take us on the next 3-4 months.

As any choreographer knows, it's a curious thing to come into a process with a blank slate, and set out to create something from nothing.  I don't know how the pieces are meant to fit together, or the shape of the overall arc.  I'm writing a story, and although I have a vague idea about the themes inside the plot, I have yet to discover who the characters are, their relationships to one another, nor can I say I really even know how the story ends.

The choreographic process for Foundations is unique because I've been employing the choreographic tools I learned at Liz Lerman Dance Exchange this summer, which in essence put the dancers themselves in the role of "movement generators."  We've created movement from images in a newspaper story of the Wall Arch collapse in Arches National Park last summer, we've written about the "foundations" we each stand on, edited them into three "I Stand On..." spoken phrases from which we've generated short, medium and long movement descriptions. We created several "Add-On" phrases.  We've talked about why our foundations matter, editing those ideas to their essence through "Walking and Talking," and gathered "Spontaneous Gestures" that emerged from the discussion that followed.  I've discovered the value of the "Scripting" tool as a way to flesh out precious nuggets of movement material.  ( I appreciate that certain tools lend towards finding the essence of an idea, and other tools lend to fleshing out that essential quality).

In my role as a director, I continue to find the arc inside all this information.  How does a newspaper story about a falling arch relate to the very human experience of belief and faith?  What does the audience need to be safely guided along this journey?  How will the dancers transition between their performance of the representational elements of the movement, to the human elements of their movement?  How do music and text contribute?  It's thrilling to me!

And even more thrilling is that, after our final run last night, I feel we have a very poignant and powerful segment to share on Saturday!   Come see what we've been working on, and be ready to share your feedback afterwards....

Dance New Amsterdam Works-in-Progress

280 Broadway, 2nd floor (enter on Chambers)

5:30pm   suggested ticket price - $10